"well, well lordy my god, what do we got here?"

God came through. i have found an italian. he doesn't speak a lick of english but good grief hes got salt and pepper hair and blue eyes and dimples a mile wide and a body like that man in the lady gaga video and i might just faint...
the details will remain secret, but all i can think, all i could think, is that i am officially the envy of every woman everywhere...
so ha! ahahahahaha!
so tonight i go to slovenia for a party with those adorable boys i met in barcelona. decided yesterday to get the heck out of dodge for saturday night, as cormons is B.O.R.I.N.G. (so i thought...) and i figured if i had to sit around this dorm all by myself for one more saturday night i would dissolve into a puddle of self pity, and we can't have that.
checked prices for trains and busses and a hostel and figured i could swing the whole trip for 23 euro. allerted my precious friend Goldian (the one with the blue eyes, half italian half sloevian) that i would be coming to town, in case he was around and wanted to give me a tour. he said he would not, infact, be in ljubijana because there was a party in a town over the border from trieste, and in fact this party was going to be so fun that my other friend, luka, was coming in all the way from germany for it. so why didnt i just meet them and go to the party? sounded like a fine idea to me.
so in about an hour i will take a train to trieste, see the beach, walk a bit through the castle, and hop a short bus ride into slovenia to meet the boys. such fun!

well i am just awful. i spend the entire year dreading the day parker turns a year older and i miss the thing. i swear i thought her birthday as the 23rd for some reason. just called and left a wild message on aunt kathis machine that went something like this:
"hey parker doodle, it's eleanor...i know in america your birthday was yesterday, but in italy its a special type of year here where they miss a day, so technically it's still the 21st in italy..."
the italian across from me, my friend thomas, laughed and put his head in his hands. he was like, "oh my god, that was so desperate, i'm going to pretend i didnt understand what you just told that little girl!"
now the italians are singing "happy birthday day dear eleanor's cousin, whose birthday was yesterday".
so sad.
aw, my italian friend, sensing how sadish i was, just put on "Georgia" over the loudspeaker...


CUT TO MONDAY MORNING:
christ alive, i just had to give a speech to a small group in class, in italian of course. was bizarre. i had no idea what we were suppossed to even be talking about...something about an "objective", but i didnt understand if that was suppose to mean an our objective, like somethnig we wanted in life, or if the argument was suppose to be the objective to make someone agree with us, or i mean, i don't know.
the teacher put us into small groups, and luckily mine consisted of my friend gabriele (who is like a godsend, totally wonderful to me, helpful with my italian, etc), angel face farm boy, the boy from rome, some other kid whose name i dont know but hes always around and nice to me too, and some boy from last semester who is cute and silly. so the group starts going around giving their little speeches. as far as i can gather, they dont really know what we're suppose to be talking about either...one of them talks about beer in america. one of them talks about soccer. one of them gives a recipe for a cocktail. the boy from rome talks about how rome is the best city (which was my first idea...). then its my turn. i commence to give the stupidest effing speech ever, the basic idea of which is why i want to live in italy, but i'm speaking like i'm 4 or something. when i'm done its sort of quiet and the boys turn their heads a bit. angel face farm boy speaks up, and asks me, with a sweet encouraging smile, if it's "hot or cold" in this "place" that i'm talking about. "hot," i reply. and its over. was retarded. am literally bridget jones attempting to go to school in a foreign land. lord, almighty...
anyway, whatever. am goig to venice now because yesterday there was "bora", which means "strong wind" and it was crazy outside so i couldnt go. but today...warmth!

hmph. apparently he has a fiance. oh well. i'm still on the wagon. kind of. i ate a bit too much and gnawed on one of my nails yesterday, but- BUT- i bought a copy of the economist which i am now devouring, so thats 1 point for me anyway.
feel bad though, because was on computer a bit ago with wet hair from shower and a cup of coffee (had just woken up) when angel face farm boy and my friend from rome asked if i wanted to go to lunch. my first response was "no, grazie" because i cant spend money on food, i have sandwiches to eat, plus im not hungry the first hour of the day, so i turned the invitation down. about 30 seconds later i realised that it was a beautiful day and i did infact, if not to eat, want to accompany the nice boys downtown for lunch, so i ran and threw on my shoes and a jacket and went chasing them down the street. but they are tall and fast and walk quickly and i was winded too soon and they had vanished. oh well.
so today i have to go to udine to do laundry. yes, thats right, there is no laundry service out here in the boondocks. so i have to cary all of my clothes downtown. while this is taking place i will read my magazine, the economist, and write the (non)love story of the spaniard down on paper for jane (she asked for it in the medium of a short story), and study, and take in the big city life. and tomorrow...VENICE!!

hm. ok. have realised of late that i have gained alot of weight over the course of these last few months. on top of that, my nails look terrible, my hair is like straw, and i havent done laundry in 2 weeks so i smell. so, starting right now, i am on a new regime called GROW UP, in which i blossom into a beautiful woman who does none of the following:
-eat entire pizzas in one sitting
-think about but not actually do my work outs on the floor
-eat like, alot of anything, actually
-drink more than 2 alcohol units a day, or even any
-smoke cigarettes
-wash my hair every day but allow it to become a bit dirty so as to collect natural shine, and in the akward interim find some cute way to put it up
-bite nails or let the polish go to rubbish

so, will begin to exercise, eat alot less (my appetite has been out of control), stop smoking, forgo cappuccinos, sweets, and copious amounts of bread in favor of fruit and vegetables, stop biting my nails, and will begin studying more and reading the economist. yes. a new life! also, will stop feeling sorry for myself and having panic attacks every 20 minutes. will be happy. is practically spring anyway, so i can slump off this winter slump and live!

so, oscar the cougar has arrived! for those of you who dont know, cooper has a school project in which a tiny cougar named oscar sails the seven seas and journeys to places far and wide to collect photographs and souvenirs of his experiences, and upon rearrival in the US he will give a presentation on where all it is that he went (that sentence is so gramatically incorrect but it stays, sorry mom). first, oscar visited marion, where according to his little journal he went to a soccer game. i awaited oscars arrival for weeks. as i told aunt kathi: unfortunately oscar arrived in the midst of the impromptu and unexpected keg party that took place instead of lessons yesterday. what began as an innocent barbq on the lawn spiraled out of control into a raging keg\wine\"latte di suocera" fest, in which, yes, i will admit, me and about 25 other crazy people ate fantastic food and commenced to dance like fiends on top of a car while house music blared and the professors just like, canceled classes because we were all beyond saving. the party started out wonderfully...the sky was blue and it was HOT and several of the italians were grilling meats (pancetta, chicken, ribs, sausage, etc etc etc oh my god) and boys ran about refilling wine glasses and offering tasty appetizers...we lounged in the sunshine and checked our watches to make sure we would still be on time for class and kicked our shoes off. lunch commenced, a real feast, and there was applause and song in appreciation for our hosts, was all lovely...lovely...and then shit just like, hit the fan. and then all of a sudden the lady from the front desk was there in the midst of all of this with a package in her arms and someone pointed to me and i cried, "oscar?!" and it was, it was him!
do not worry though, AK, i guarded young oscar like a hawk. and the truth was, the italians, though wild, were totally adoarble and kind to him. everyone came up and shook his hand and told him "bienvenuto a cormons, oscar!" and some of them asked to pose for pictures (beer glasses hidden behind backs) and now hes just one of us dorm kids. everyone asked, "dov'e oscar?" (where is oscar) and when they see him now they say "ciao!". this weekend i will take the little guy to venice and have his photo taken with a gondelier.
so the thing is, i am absolutely head over heels for this boy now...the thing is, hes good. really good. and he makes me want to not be a trashy american who curses and falls down occasionally and gets sad over not being able to decide what to buy at the grocery store. when im around him i get so nervous i can hardly look him in the eye and i want to put my hair in braids and be innocent and hard working and have not a mean thought in my head. but we'll see. i will begin to work on myself one day at a time, which is all any of us can do. blake and i vowed today over the phone to not be trashy anymore, but to embrace what little in us in genteel. remember our roots and do them right. so wish me luck.

hah, ok, tutto a posto. was no problem. took a deep breath and went back inside, crawling into my seat beside my sweet friend gabriele. spoke with the professor, who is incredibly nice, and all is fine. turns out the class is like, retardedly easy; basic theory of communication at this point, with the lessons translating to something like this:
"so now, if one person wants to commmunicate, to talk, to speak, to another person, how can he do that? through a letter? through a sign? what will a sign say? no smoking? do not park here?" etc, etc.
so while the rest of the class is comtemplating pulling out their arm hairs for fun and falling into comas, im happy as a clam, nodding my head and saying, "yes, letters tell people things. important messages".
also, there are 6, count them, 6 cute boys in this class! hoorah!
after lessons i went with some of the italians into town to have lunch. was an incredibly beautiful day in cormons, warm and sunny and bright, and we walked for a long while talking and picking flowers and watching caterpillars crawl. after that i laid in the grass outside listening to aerosmith and taking in what su i could get my greedy hands on. feels like this winter has lasted forever...
ok, love everyone, im going to go find some meat to eat...
e

oh my god in heaven i just like, bolted out the classroom door (as calmly as possible)...
have a class this morning, the topic of which i believe is something about he culture of farm life in regards to the modern world, and everyone from my dorm and all these other italians that i know are in there with me. i wasnt able to talk to the professor before class started, wasnt able to brief the man on my situation i.e. i cant understand really what the hell you're talking about, so the man didnt know the deal. about 20 minutes into class he startes calling on people to have them tell them about their farms or their vineyards or something. started to go all blotchy because i mean, i want to be competent and all, but if this man calls on me to answer some question i cant understand in front of the whole class i will vomit everywhere, i just know it. tried to be brave. tried to write busily in my notebook so as to seem to important to be asked a question. tried to pray alot. couldnt deal, i had to leave. so, while my poor german friend who speaks fairly good italian took the hit and was responding to his question, i slipped out the back. i am sure everyone knew what was up.
ok, theyre on a break now, im going to go talk to the professor and beg him to have m,ercy

gah...am trying to find plane tickets from atlanta back into europe at the beginning of june. i really, really desperately want to be able to come to quinn's graduation, alice ann's wedding, and to see jacqui and john frey's new baby (still a fetus, but hes coming so soon!) and hold nana. alice ann has complicated matters by being beautiful and original and having her wedding on a sunday...so many cheap cheap flights on the 31st! like, back to london for $300! i have the ticket home (delta, first class, mind you) but no ticket back...so everyone keep your eyes and ears opened and if you see anything for the first week in june, let me know and i will pounce! i am literally reading over a map of europe and typing in every big-dot city into the studentuniverse.com search engine to see what comes up...
as for now i am resigned to stay here in italy for the rest of my child bearing years...whiling away my hours dreaming of marietta and my mother and all other things nice and comfortable and safe.
not that cormons is not nice and safe...i mean, theres nothing here to in any way push the reality toward the contrary.
i had a lovely day today. went downtown and studied for a long while, bolstering my italian vocab while sipping cafe americanos (i have quit giving a hoot) and listening to the 6 songs that these people listen to on a loop. went to mass at 6:30, ate my little cracker and said some prayers, came back to the dorm and ate a pizza...
tomorrow i have classes all day, from 9am until 4pm. will be hard on the brain, 7 straight hours of italian, but at least the courses will be here in cormons so i wont have to commute to school on top of all of it.
OH MY GOD just found a ticket out of new york to paris for $200...where is my debit card...ok, im gonna work on this, peace

hm...just woke up to find my entire dorm completely empty...have no idea where everyone went. i imagine home to their nice cozy parents houses for the weekend. leaving me alone to...slide around the halls in my socks and underwear? watch TV on the computer at an unreasonable volume? be COMPLETELY BORED, even more f-ing bored then usual...is ok, will take this weekend to write and study and...meditate. am bored to the point right now that i am sitting here drinking espresso listening to George Michaels 'last christmas'. someone send me a book or something.
oh, wait, i hear footsteps...
anyway. hello! greetings from cormons! i realize that i havent written in like...a really long time. i ran off to spain and then crumbled off the face of the earth and then arose from the ashes here, in my tiny town.
ok, so, well start with spain. i feel like there's not that much to say...it was both wonderful and not, weird and strange, beautiful and ugly. this is barcelona though. i think i was one of like...all the people in the world who wasnt completely blown away by the city. i just found it sort of seedy and dirty and not at all wild and exotic like i had thought. i think i was expecting miami mixed with mexico but with beautiful spanish men. what i found instead was a big, dirty city. with art that i was not at all impressed by (i attribute this to the fact that i had been living in rome. i am spoiled beyond belief as far as architectual beauty goes). the first part of the trip was weird. freddie and i had an...interesting time and it ended a little odd. but the food was great! we ate tapas and drank mojitos and went to a really bad club where they played all american rap and stayed out very very late. freddie left sunday afternoon leaving me to another couple of days (so i thought) alone in the city. went out sunday night and made friends with some people and danced a bit, spent sunday wandering and eating turkish delights and being relatively bored and unimpressed. tuesday morning i came down to breakfast with my suitcase packed, thrilled to be heading back to safe, normal cormons, where i could have my own room and speak italian and not be bothered anymore. was eating my complimentary cereal when this adorable boy in thick rayban eyeglasses started talking to me. he was there with a group of about 7 other boys, all from slovenia (the country right over the border from me in cormons), all totally cute and punk rockish. turns out they were a group of BMX bikers from slovenia who do a yearly trip together to ride their bikes and hang out. the cute boy who talked to me first, luka, talked about how cool slovenia is and he encouraged me to go there ASAP, even gave me a number of his friend who lived in lubijana and told me to call her when i came to visit. was so very kind and friendly and he kept saying, "postpone your flight! stay in barcelona! why would you leave, tickets to venice are so cheap, just stay!" and i was all, no, no, i have to go, i want to go, etc. so i parted ways with the boys, already friends after one breakfast together. got to the airport and called mom and talked with her for a minute keeping my eyes on the boarding call for my flight. finally it came up, BCN to Venice, and i went to the counter, where i was told (i will NOT go into detail here) that the notice was for boarding, not check in, and i was late and i could not take the flight. fine. at this point i just...i just dont care. is inevitable that i am an IDIOT. so i am given an option: take a flight to another city that night (where? why? what good does that do me??) or reschedule to take a flight later that week for $70. good god. considered options...decided upon taking another flight from BNC to venice later that week, the next one being saturday. i figured, ok, i didnt like barcelona and i am sad about this. i felt like i was missing something. so ill go back, ill be happy, ill give it another shot. went right back to the hostel, laughing, thinking, if the kids at happy days could see this now, my god, and i walked in to see none other than ryan, the new orleans boy from happy days. he had come to barcelona after me and we happened to be in the same hostel again, and he saw me all haggled looking and was just like, "oh god, did you miss your flight again?" and i said "yup" and it was just perfect.
and after this i can say, barcelona got alot better. due to wonderful ryan being there, the slovenian boys, some nice girls including one awesome girl who went to harvard, and the chance to drool over the gorgeous argentinian hostel worker pablo whom i wanted to like kidnap and stuff into my pocket and keep him there for LIFE. the more i explored the city, the more i liked it. aside from being over run with tourists and scary men who did this weird tongue click thing (not spaniards, men from other countries) and the constant threat of having everything stolen off you, the city got cooler and cooler. i found amazing markets, stores, beach front clubs, bakeries with some of the best treats i have ever tried, fresh seafood, fantastic clothes which i did not buy, paella, and proof that spaniards are absolutely some of the coolest people on the planet.
on thursday i had kind of a breakdown of sorts however. i got this email from a lady at my school, the evil one, the one who has given me so much trouble before, the one whom i had written to maybe 15 times begging (literally begging) for information on how school works, how i could register for classes, what the dates were, etc. she had been nothing but tight lipped and mean, and i was told only that if i go in person (which i did) i could get everything sorted out (a lie). so i get this email from her all of a sudden, whcih reads: school started monday. classes are now unavailable for registration. so of course i panic. i start emailing everyone at the school and becoming histerical. i cant use my phone and i cant leave spain and im convinced that i haven just ruined my chances for taking classes this semester. on top of this, of course, the reality of all the money lost due to my stupidness and the mistakes starts to sink in and i just want to die. after a while i pick myself up and go out for a coffee, thinking i can sit and breath and have some caffeine and talk myself out of...disaster. so im at this little coffee shop next to my hostel, and theres this nice, older rastafarian black man working there, the owner. he comes up to bring me my coffee and says, "you look so sad. you need to get out of this city, i can tell. i want you to finish your coffee and go here. dont stop for anything, youll be there by sunset." he writes down a name on a piece of paper, i drink my cup, and go directly to the train station. i hand the beautiful spanish train attendant the piece of paper. he grins when he reads the name, charges me 4 euro, and tells me to have a nice trip. i take the train out of the city, and immediately i feel better. the tracks run alongside the ocean, water crashing to my left, the sun beginning to set up ahead, some of the most beautiful, bright green gassy hills that i have ever seen rolling on my right. we go for about an hour, and the train pulls in my stop. theres not even a train station, it is literally just a platform. i am the only one who gets off the train, and the only person i see in any direction. the beach is down a grassy slope, and i go there and parked on the beach is about 40 boats, all lined up, with their sails tied, sheets flapping in the wind. the sun is setting and the wind is blowing so hard that it is making the chains on the sails fo the boats rattle. they are all different sizes and they all make different sounds in the wind, it sounds like a symphony, and i park myself right in the middle and sit and listen until it gets dark. then i take the train back to the city, where is rest and play and eat a wonderful dinner and finally consider the trip to be worth it, way worth it.
ok, im going to go get some food now, ill write asap about everything happening ehre, which is a surprising amount considering where i am
e

ah ha! ok, am back. cannot blog now as they close the computer lab in 10 min, but here are some links to photos...they dont make a link, so just copy\paste the web address...

www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2497934&id=4913936&l=d470a : germany, paris, italy
www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2499416&id=4913936&l=e4471 : italy, including caramadres, etc
www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2499421&id=4913936&l=513ce: italy, including veneto farms
www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2505931&id=4913936&l=3a23f : barcelon 1
www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2507549&id=4913936&l=cd63d : barcelona 2

enjoy!