oh, my lovely roma! the weather is holding up beautifully. spent the morning walking about, drinking cappucino, haggling for a good price on an orange belt. came home to find sweet aunt harri and uncle c had gifted me a beautiful gold pashmina, which i am now wearing around my neck. didnt know gold suited me so well. a whole new world of opportunities! all here is going well, today was a rest day. yesterday we walked for ages (as is the norm) to the bigger sites, and over to the colosseum. aunt harri and uncle c discussed the architectural procedures involved in building such a structure, and i dreamily watched pigeons fly and felt along the aged stone with my hand. dinner was made in-house by yours truly. i pan roasted some chicken with herbs and leeks, and made a rather yummy pasta with ricotta, brocolli, and tiny tomatoes. uncle c ate most of it, and it was decided that i should just cook again tonight. its actually pretty tough to find good food at restaurants in roma, as it is all tourist based. have picked up some good techniques, though ("piu simplice, piu italiano"), so i think i do a pretty good job. dragged myself out of the apartment afted dinner last night and over to trastevere, to say hi to the boys at the cook book bar. first glass of red wine i'd had in months nearly knocked me flat, some super strong varietal from sicilia, and after an hour of sipping on it and twirling it around in my glass i gave up and walked home. tonight i'll make another chicken dish, this time wrapped in prosciutto and stuffed with sage and ricotta (we had bought too much), try some lame white from orvietto, and go to sleep early, try to dream. and tomorrow: FIRENZE!

left cormons bright and early wednesday morning, my suitcase packed to the gills and tears in my eyes. before i left i went up to say goodbye to FL's mom, give her the parting gift i got her (a pineapple. she likes them and they're hard to come by) and a hug. as soon as i saw here i couldnt even talk, just shoved the present at her and gave her a hug and nodded repeatedly, trying not to cry, while she wimbled about how they'd miss me and how shes sure shell see me again, blah blah. backed out of the kitchen and down the stairs, closed the door, and lost it.
the night before i had gotten home from tutoring the babies (god, i will miss those kids, their english had gotten so good!! such angels!), to find FL already home from work, which was odd because he usually doesnt get home till 6. figured hed taken off early for our last night, which was going to involve cocktails at Paradise (the other when-porchis-is-closed bar), and then dinner at our favorite spot, Giat Neri. he was all dressed up in a nice shirt, and clean, and suggested we go get a coffee first. went to some random bar down the road from porchis, played the lottery, drank a couple of coffees, and chatted for a bit. the air smelled of grapes at the beginning of the fermentation stage, sort of moldy and forresty, a good sign. could see out the window that there were lights on at porchis, and i sighed a deep sigh and said, "oh how i will miss that place". FL looked at me sympathetically and said he knew it, how sad was it that my last night was a stupid tuesday, so we couldnt go there? went to Paradise for a bit, but no one was there, which was also odd. FLs phone rang, and when he got done talking he said fabbio (proprietor of porchis) had called and said that before i leave i should stop by and pick up some cotechino, one of the sausages that we made, so i could at least try something from the pusitar. since we had time to kill before dinner time, we said we'd run right over and grab it. got there to find the lights inside on, and some of our friends, sitting around drinking spritz. there were champagne glasses lined up on the table, and music on the stereo. gave nadia a big hug, and asked what gives, it's stupid tuesday, right? she said she bought a new car, and they were doing a dinner to celebrate. i said, "oh, congratulations! is it in the parking lot?" and everyone burst out laughing. FL took my elbow and said gently, "no, silly, this isnt a party for nadias new car, it's for you", and everyone cheered. burried by head into his chest and held him tight, both because of that same mortification that comes at birthdays when everyone is looking at me and my face goes all red, and because i didnt want everyone to see me cry. as the night went on, more and more people showed up, till it was everyone, a private wonderful party with all of my friends, gabi and condor, and luca and federica from this summer at the pool. FL had arranged everything, all the drinks on the house for everyone, and a big dinner of pasta and cotechino, plates of ham and cheese. a totaly surprise. i was gifted tiny trinkets of love and parting, and pictures were taken. Fabbio brought out the cotechino, basically a giant sausage that merely gets boiled in water and sliced into thick burgers. he let me do the honors, as it was a profound moment in friulian history, he said, for an american to make and slice their precious cotechino. FL piped in that when they write the history books on cormons, there will be a chapter dedicated to my time here, the age of the merecan, and everyone raised their glass in salute. kept bursting into tears all night at random moments, and was hugged and pecked by everyone, giving and receiving promises of my return, and giving and receiving thanks for my time there, for these friendships and the memories. the party was wild after a bit, and even fabbio was giddy with grappa and telling jokes in friulano (condor was watching me and laughing histerically during this, and when i went over and asked what was up, he said he had been watching my face, and thought it was hilarious to throw someone a going away party, and then sit there and tell bad jokes in a language they cant understand).
at one point i was standing with FL, watching the party, and i looked up at him and told him thank you, for this, for everything, every single thing. he sighed and said, "piccola, don't you know that the only thing i care about is whether or not you're happy? more then i care about work, about my friends, about Valentino Rossi racing on saturdays, it's you, and what i can do to make you happy. the only thing that matters is you, and i try my hardest every day, since that very first day, to make sure you have what you need, and what you want, and that you know how much you're loved. and thats what makes me happy." there were no words, still arent, from me, after hearing this. it was just gratitude and love, only those emotions and realities, that i felt then, and that i still feel now. i took his hands and kissed them and nodded that yes, finally, i know that.
around 1am we bid our fairwells (the hardest was gabi, the argentina girl whom i got very close to these past few weeks. we bonded in such a specific way, that saying goodbye to her was nothing less than profound) and went home, where i managed to about break my hand by falling out of bed while trying to plug in my cellphone (sort of thing that could happen to anyone after a gallon of spritz). when we woke up the next morning i saw a package at the foot of the bed that i hadnt, um, noticed, the night before. opened it and burst out laughing, crying, "your mother is a genius!". FL rolled over and said, "oh god, do not let me see what is in that bag". was a t-shirt with his baby picture on it, and the words (bascally) "kisses to eleanor, love the cecots". the baby picture is so absurd, i dont blame him for hating it, but i think the shirt is incredible. got another shirt also: the one that reads "Versace un altro litro", the greatest shirt in the world that i have coveted for months. so now my suitcase is packed with tiny treasures, and i have enough memories to make a lifetime. watched cormons fade out the window of the train for as long as i could. the mountain was green and red and yellow, the castle ablaze in the sun, and all behind it the dolomites icy white. was the most beautiful sight id ever seen, and ill keep it with me always.
as for now, is about dinner time. oh, lovely roma. will blog after florence! so excited, havent been in years!
love, e