Job interview in 45 minutes. I am calm. I just have to go there and find out what they want from me. I must remember that I am not an enologist, and I am not a viticulturist. So if they start asking me questions about tannins and production I must not try to fake it, I must be honest and collected and secure in my own qualifications and abilities (my list of qualifications and abilities is now alluding me...). I must not throw up.

But why oh why did this have to start with Felluga?! Felluga is top, one of the best wineries in Friuli, in all of Italia, and possibly the only winery that has a personal place in my heart. This could be crushing.

Will be like that time I interviewed for the position in the kitchen at 5&10 in Athens, a 4-star restaurant with a famous chef, having never worked in a kitchen before. The guy at the pre-interview said, "ok, bring your knives and coat" and I was like, oh, sure. Then I was frantic for the next 3 days trying to lay my hands on anything other than the dull wall-mart butcher knife I had at home, the one I used solely for smashing garlic because it had a blade like a broom handle. My father drove to Athens and brought me a "chef's coat" that said Marietta High School, I spent $80 on an pathetic excuse for a set of chef's knives at Target, and my brother came over and gave me a series of lessons on how to chop tomatoes and onions. The "kitchen trial", as they called it, was a disaster: I sliced my thumb within the first 3 minutes (brilliantly I had brought along some band-aids, which I applied in the walk-in freezer), I could not make my pear into the shape of a rose even though some incredibly patient guy named Julio who spoke no English demonstrated it for me at least 7 times, and my potato cubes looked oblong and distorted. I was fed a "shift meal" of swordfish and kale and sent home with a promise being gotten "in touch" with.

But, I tried.

The interesting thing is that I am in no way nervous about my Italian. Like, for the first time ever on this bizarre adventure that is not what is worrying me (in fact, Condor says I just need to go in, cuss the guy out in Friulano and slam my fist on the table shouting, "taj di blanc!" -which means "glass of white"- and I will surely be met with applause and a warm embrace). It is more the prospect of being told, no, we have no use for you, which will in my deluded head mean that NO ONE will have any use for me EVER. and I will be broke and unemployed for all of my life because I have no marketable skills or work experience.

Have gone over the Livio Felluga website in detail, scrounging up adjectives and points of interest on their history and wine. There is this big post about "Who We Are" and it uses the words "courage" and "battle" and "hard work". Sheesh. Reminds me of a story by David Sedaris, where he says, "it's always a bad sign when an employer offers an image of themselves doing anything other than getting drunk and throwing money around".

Ok, now I am giggling. Will remember David Sedaris being unemployable, but coming out on top. Will remember Bridget Jones being unemployable, but coming out on top. Will remember Ignatius J. Riley being unemployable, but managing to make a scene and some money, anyway.

I am in good company.

Wish me luck!