Part Two

so, yes, friday. The Day of Reckoning.
lets begin by assessing the characters in this drama.
*Me: cute. a tad hot-headed. mildly decent in italian when the situation suits me. um...fill in the blank.
*Mama: beautiful. graceful. poised. wise. given to random yet brief fits of histeria, followed by calm, in manner of squall. no bullshit. easy to laugh, easy to accept situations, easy to find obvious beauty (becuase it's always there). a lady.
*aunt gwynn: beautiful. skinny. intelligent. perfectly balanced between zen-like state and maddness. spiritual. in touch. the heart sings in her company.
*natalie: also, as sisters go, beautiful, skinny, and intelligent. auora of natural healer plus yoga-stretched mind. youthful. centered. funky.
*uncle jim: testosterone. lots. bouts of volcanic pouting. on the flip side, totally cool, unpretentious, adventurous, fun to talk to. when he's happy everyone can be happy.
*hitch: chill. limber, mentally and physically. comic relief. light hearted. peaceful, jovial, and gracious. cordially rambunctous.
*claudia: composed. dreamy. creative. relaxed. generally amused and adventurous. glamorous and fresh.
*skip: hm. to be fair, i think he's a bit too stick-in-the-mud, one-track-minded, dim, and "normal" for our crew. seemed generally appauled (as i was when i saw that t-shirt). boring. for someone who considers themselves so "one with nature", he seemed totally out of touch. snippy, snappy, rude, passive-aggressive control freak.

so. as you can imagine i woke up that friday morning a bit vile-headed, a bit in-need-of-some-fruit. mom called and we decided to rendezvous downtown for lunch, and then maybe a drive in to udine to see my school. reached the center of town where there was a market behind everyones hotel. was good, because i could buy some apples. was bad, because...SKIP (we can blame it comlpletely on him now, though it was a joint effort and just a one-of-those-things-type boo boo) had parked the cars in the lot where the market was being held. so, naturally, the cars were towed. when i arrived everyone was totally cool and calm i.e. uncle jim and hitch were napping and not present; claudia, aunt gwynn, and natalie had managed to meet some nice man who took them to the police station; and mom was still just sort of wondering what we should eat for lunch and whether i'd like a new pair of shoes. we ran into skip (who was already looking a bit peaked), and together we walked to the police station, where we found some nice lady writing tickets and aunt gwynn trying to "explain our situation". when i walked in, they were like, "oh, good! tell this lady the following things", which amounted to linguistically limber begging and pleading on my part of the sort that i am not necessarily capable of, even in english. stared at aunt gwynn blankly and said, "hm...". so, AG, being her marvelous self, said, "here, it's like this". she proceded to drop to her knees and beg the police lady to have mercy: we were foreigners, we didnt have 70 euro to pay for these tickets (ha...70.), it was an honest mistake, from the bottom of our loving hearts we are begging for leneancy. the lady was amused and kind, though unwavering. right as AG was about to pick herself off the floor, everyone in giggles by this point, skip snapped. "here, god," he said, shoving a 50 euro bill into our faces, "i can't watch this shit anymore". i turned to him and said, "hey. chill. we're fine.", to which he replied, "it's not your 35 euro!", to which aunt gwynn, like a mother bear, turned and said, "it's not yours either", or something, implying, look dude, we don't need you, go wait outside and give yourself a chill-the-fuck-out enema and don't snap at eleanor. skip threw his hands in the air and stormed out. we all regained composeur, paid our tickets, chatted nicely with the police lady, who suggested that we ask at the enoteca next door for how to get a taxi to the towing place, and left. in the mean time skip was running around red in the face and bitching and mom was like, "screw him, i don't want his 50 euro". the girls (it was down to us now, which we decided was best, really) went to the enoteca di cormons, the local fancy-pants wine shop that caters in local vini, pancetta, and "tourist" info. the lady was totally nice, and found us some nice old man who would drive us to the towing place, just as soon as he finished his wine. we all had a glass of spumante and relaxed.

the nice old man, whose name i can't remember, loaded me, aunt gwynn, and mom into the car. he didnt speak english, but explained to me throughout the 20min drive how the local land changes in elevation, thus creating completely different wine "zones". was educational. he dropped us at the towing place, and us girls walked in, confident that our cars would be released in a timely, civil fashion. we started out pleasantly enough. then were handed the bill, for the towing of our two cars: 550 euro. $800. collective shocked silence. "no way, absolutely not", was the first thing uttered, by me. we demanded to speak with the lady in charge (bulldog type scary woman in be-dazzled jeans), and had to wait around for her. in the mean time, aunt gwynn again attempted to have me memorize my "speech", in which i call on the four corners of the watch tower and ask for water, fire, earth, and sky to convene and either grant mercy or destroy the towing company. she had me repeat after her, but my italian just wasnt up to it. i was furious with the situation, as it was obvious that a) this number was pulled out of someones greedy butt and b) clearly, we were being taken advantage of. phone calls were made, pleading with police, breathing exercises. this is when i called FL, to ask him to please call the vineyard, withwhome we had a 4pm appointment, and tell them that we were gonna be a little late. my histeria caused him to be overly calm, thus making me think he was being cold, thus causing me to shut down completely. aunt gwynn and i held hands and prayed. the lady at the front desk eyed us as though we were aliens. when we finished praying, FL called back, positive that i had said that we had been in a ten car pileup or something. at that point, scary owner came in. we braced for the worst. and its what we got. despite pleading, arguing, and out right refusal (aunt gwynn insisted that we just take the cars. she said, "i mean, really, what would you do, if we just drove off?" the lady was not amused. made me feel better, though). it was decided that we'd just pay the damned tickets. as a consolation prize, the nicer of the two ladies gave aunt gwynn 5 fancy pens with the name and number of the towing company. in a way that possibly only ross and parker girls can manage, we were, in a way, totally happy with our 100euro pens. it sucked. but it was over. and the best part? we got to go straight to the winery and drink it all away.
the winery was great. all locally and family made, for generations. we were happy as clams and bought a case at the end, all the more in love with friuli, all the more forgetful of the crap towing incident.
that evening after dinner, mama was driving me back to my dorm. "is FL at porchis?" she asked, innocently. "yes", i replied naively. "well, then, we're going". i immediately freaked. not amusing. i did not feel like going to porchis, i did not feel like doing the meet-mom thing. i just wasnt up for it. and mom totally did not understand my position, even though i had been trying to explain it all week. we pulled in to porchis and i begrudgingly led her inside. we ordered some wine. i tried to play both sides for a second, and rudely left mom at the table while i went outside to say hi to FL. when i got back to the table, she was in tears, and she got up to leave. chased ehr otu to the car, where, despite my efforts to explain why i wasnt trying to be "rude", i just wasnt comfortable with...anything, she wasnt having any of it. "look," she said, "if you have some guy who's that good, who is that kind to you, who likes you that much, don't treat him like he's nothing, like 'he's not real'. he's very real, and he deserves to be treated like a reality!". i was considering this, when FL popped his head around the car door, his brow furrowed in that way he does when he sees a boo boo on my knee or that ive stumped my toe or that i have even the flightest frown on my face, concern and distaste. we all said hi, and mama left. he turned to me and asked, "what in the world did you do to your mother? where is she going? call her right now and see if she wants to have a drink with me and you and bentley". fine. called mom, and she graciously agreed to another try.
FL, his friend bentley, and i met mom and claudia at a little enoteca downtown. two of bentley's friends came, and that cute bunch of italian boys entertained us american girls over a few glasses of local wine and some snacks. it was marvelous really. mom is adorable and chatted with the boys, who were all gracious and kind and jovial to us, buying the wine and trying their best to make conversation. things got silly and we took pictures. when mama went off to be (roma in 8 hours!) FL turned to me and said, "well your mom is exactly like you said; she's just perfect!". and bentley was in love. the legend of La Mamina ("the mommy" in italian) is at large...
and skip, you ask? no, he didnt come to the towing place, he didnt go to the winery. homeboy dissapeared after the freak out at the police station. gone all day, no note. while we were sitting there being entertained by cute italians, claudia pointed across the rode, "there's skip! he just saw us and kept walking!". mom tended to him for all of 5 minutes before pronouncing his ass a loser. it was up in the air whether he's come with us to rome the next day.
so that was comrons, or a snippet anyway...
to be continued...