damnit it all to hell, its just that hes the best man i have ever known in my life, a real man, not a boy, and that is nearly impossible to find. hes kind and calm and loving and intelligent and funny and generous and just makes me crazy. i forgot my passport when we went to croatia the first time, did i tell you that? i didnt even realize wed need it, because...im am idiot. so we got to the border and he asked for it and i just looked at him, horror-stricken. and you know what? he just laughed, and kissed me on the cheek, and said, well, lets go to trieste and eat sushi, then! we can go to the beach there! angela was like, "oh my god, what is this alien in a gorgeous man body?!". and i just threw my arms around him, like i always do, and smiled. croatia was incredible. so many stories. too hard to write it down now. before i left cormons i begged him to let me stay, told him i didnt want to go. he wouldnt hear of it. put me on my train, told me to have fun and learn alot and milk those damned goats like i always wanted to, and kissed me goodbye. i really dont know if ill ever see him again, but ill be ok, either way. but god it hurts, and i miss cormons and my friends and even friuli (never, ever thought id say that). but all i can do is be happy i had it, and keep it with me, always.