up and down. up and down. normal.
things on the farm are spinning from mindnumbing frustration, exhaustion, and outright annoyance, to comfort, friendship, and relaxation. not really getting along great with the proprietors of the place. its not outwardly bad, but sort of this tense misunderstanding. constantly feel like im doing things wrong, not doing enough, in trouble, in the way, and the lady lets me know it. regardless of the fact that i have been working so hard i cant get my rings off over my swollen fingers, my back looks like the surface of the moon from knots in my muscles, and i smell like GOAT from milking every day and night, i just cant seem to please her. he just ignores me. yesterday was pretty bleak, and i finally just cried for a bit. went to hide in the caseficio, the cheese lab, to let it all out. rachel, an amazing girl from california, was in there, and talked me through it. shes been here over a month off and on, and said that her first two weeks were much like mine: miscommunication, frustration, distance. she stuck it out, though, and now this place is like her home. dont know if ill ever get that far, but it certainly helped to hear that. as far as shes seen, most people go through this around here. i calmed down and have just decided to do my best and not worry about it.
so yes, here to my delight are four other amazing girls: three from california, all who went, coincidentaly, to the same college, and a beautiful girl from latvia. they are all creative, intelligent, funny, kind, and i can feel bonds beginning to blossom already, especially with rachel. the girl form latvia, ilina, is wonderful, a baby (18!), and just a happy, easy person. theres also a guy from piemonte, here for some sort of spiritual exploration. hes incredibly nice and speaks great english. the guests at the inn include an old man from tuscany who is completely insane and speaks in a dialect i can never understand and makes hilarious jokes, a younger guy who reads David Foster Wallace and works on his bike all day, and an incredibly old lady who sort of hobbles about and smiles and eats lunch with us and tells us stories about when she ran off to live in buenos aires and africa in the 1940s. us, plus mario and isa, are the current inhabitants of this strange little farm house on the hill. we eat all meals together, shoot the shit in the sunshine together, the girls and i spend hours out at pasture with the animals...at times, its a lovely experience. and the weather is incredible.
have been making cheese and learning lots of secrets, harvesting lots of vegetables, spending alot of time with the animals, and trying to nap when i can. the cheese is great! we take the fresh milk that we get every morning and work with it in the afternoons. spent all day today giving a bath to the older cheeses, washing away all the monthes worth of mold. the cheeses are beautiful. it feel significant to see something i admire so much up close, in all its stages, from the beginning, to the nasty, to the tenderness, to the final product. regardless of the stage, regardless of how smelly or raw or aged or difficult, the more i learn, the more i love it, and the more i want to just eat it. ill take photos and give yall a step by step next week once i get the details down.
have to go eat fresh pizza!
oh, and guess what! FL is riding over here tomorrow and whisking me away for a night of romance at a beautiful country cottage! la la la escape! my hero!