haven't really told my readers why i'm staying? i thought that was a bit obvious (insert bashful giggle). it sort of came down to this...as yall know, when august came around and i went off to piemonte i was in shambles. yes, i wanted to go make cheese (check!) and have adventures with angela (check!) and make new friends (check!) and see another part of italy (check!). but i also wanted to stay here, with him, in this place (with these people and the wines and language) that i have come to love and consider another home. when piemonte was over i came back to friuli to regroup (and take a hot bath. did i tell you those crazy people at the farm in piemonte turned the hot water off, because they said that americans use too much water? so we had ice cold showers for a month. it was bullshit), and FL and i had a little chat. he said that august was sort of a "lets see" period for him, too, and that the outcome, after about a week, was that he was much better off with me, that everything would just be better if i were here. i told him i've been saying that the whole time, silly. so we figured this: we'll give it a try. make a go of it. find a place to live and make "us" official. officially become "morosi". i'll find a job and keep studying the wines and the food and the language. this was our thinking but, of course, i'm manic and all over the place, so i wasnt completely sure that i shouldnt be "responsible" and come back to athens and finish school in january like a good girl. obviously that would be the "responsible"\wise\safe bet, and when i'm done with UGA and my degree, well then i can come back to italy if i feel like it. so i was kind of 50\50 about it, swaying back and forth, thinking way too much, imagining all sorts of dire consequences and bloody deaths for not going back to school, like normal. but then angela was here and sort of put it all in perspective (from a wiser, older, outsiders point of view): this place is beautiful, breathtaking at times. it is a goldmine of information, the food, the wines, the language, the culture, and i can learn so much just by going to the cafe down the street, talking with the postman, taking a tour of a vineyard any day of the week, traveling to the tiny villages, finding an apprenticeship at a restaurant, learning the history of this place, which is astoundingly complex. in this way, regardless of "school credit", i will be learning and forwarding whatever career it is that i will want in a much more hands-on, interesting, and real way than anything i could do in athens right now. i feel comfortable and happy in this town, with these wonderful people who are all incredibly supportive and happy to have me. and, of course, theres the boy. angela put him in perspective, too, sort of in the way my mother and hitch and claudia did. its almost unreal how good he is, just good and kind and responsible and supportive and happy. angela adores him, told me multiple times a day. the thing is, we're really good, FL and i. really good and happy together, and i just dont know that i could walk away from that right now. i dont know what will happen down the line, i certainly am not planning on marrying him or anything, its way too soonf or such thoughts and im so young and have so much to do and i dont know who ill be down the road. right now its all very fresh and young and i want to keep it that way and put no pressure on anything. doors always opened. but, lord, he is worth sticking with. when i was at marions one night, she started asking me, on behalf of mimi, and in a very "critical", serious, debbie downer, lets-see-if-she-has-any-good-answers-for-the-tough-questions kind of way, what in the world it was that i was thinking, what in the world it was i thought i was doing. we discussed my options long and hard, angela a total "italy" advocate, marion a total "responsibility" advocate. and when all the cards were down, and i had said my peace, wise marion made her call: go for it. why the hell not. because, seriously, what harm could it do to just be happy and in love and relax and learn for a while? there's no telling where it will lead me. so anyway, theres that.
must find job, though. asap.
went to the Enoteca di Cormons today. the Enoteca is where all of the local vineyards serve and advertise their wines, and its full of pamphlets and maps and classes on wine for tourists (mainly from austria). told the nice lady that i wanted a job in a vineyard and where she tought i should start. she was so nice and told me to come in tomorrow and we'd figure something out. theres so many opportunities here, i just have to go get them, take them, put my head down and make things happen. am feeling powerful and motivated and on the right track.
but maybe because it's...DATE NIGHT! always puts me in a good mood. we're going to that fabulous restaurant i blogged about a while back, the one that serves the most gigantic portions of delicious food. so excited.