i'm the only one in the laboratory wearing a dress

i think the udinese sense in me a denial of their values, and this is making them fearful. the scientists are looking at me like i am crazy because i am wearing armani exchange and singing 'rocky top' while i peel kryogenically frozen grapes. 1,000 of them...is tedious, daunting work, and i am begining to think that simone is a sadist and i am merely a gullibul pawn in this strange world of viticulture. have literally no interest what so ever as to whether or not "there is a corrolation between the size of the grape and its color and sugars" etc. i am merely here to anthropologically observe. they know this, and this is also making them fearful.
god! i have literally been completely way too busy this week to blog for one second. i mentioned in my last blog that last week professor zerbi took me around the campus, introducing me to way too many people to keep track of, in an attempt to find me something to do. v. greatful for his enthusiasm. on monday i got a frantic call from someone who, after several minutes of speaking a flow of italian, paused at the end to say, "hai capire?", and when i said, "um...no. no ho capisco" ("i dont understand"), said simply, "oh. luisa dalla costa is looking for you. go to her office. bye!". turns out that luisa had sent me an email to my uga account, which i never ever check, and had set up a luncheon for me- just for me!- on the basis of wanting me to meet with an anthropologist, an agriculturalist, a horticulturalist, and a professor of italian studies, who are all writing a book together about some village or other in the mountains that makes a particular kind of polenta. she had made plans for us all to have lunch together that day. i apoligized, mortified at not responding sooner, and we went down to the lunch room together. all the professors had brought different dishes from home and homemade wine and we had a veritable feast together. they all seemed to think that i am seriously already an anthropologist and that i am like, very important or something, and said that they would be honored to have me travel with them, sit in on their classes, help create lectures in english, give me anthropological books to read, etc. was marvelous! am making fantastic contacts. what a boost. as soon as i finish this damned grape assignment i can begin an internship in another department...god help me...
lord above, though. i really think these people have me pegged all wrong. on tuesday i got yet another frantic call, this one from alessia bruno, the v. unhelpful and kind of...cranky lady in charge of my program. she said that there was to be a conference of sorts for the exchange students, and that the lady who is in charge of the FIFPSE grant program (the one that is giving me all the money) will be there and wants to meet me, as apparently i am the only person who received that grant this year. so after an hour of trying to find the correct building i came into the conference hall, where about 200 italian students were sitting and watching a panel of official looking people on stage. one lady was giving this incredibly dull presentation in italian, and on the overhead projector there was information about, as far as i could gather, the FIFPSE grant and exchange opportunities. so i slunk to the back and started biting my nails or whatever, not really paying attention, and all of a sudden i see alessia bruno up front motioning to me. did the thing where you look over your shoulder to see if it is actually you being summoned, because, what the hell does she want, but was up against the wall so was forced to accept that it was me. people were starting to turn around and look at me so i finally gave in and started walking down the aisle toward alessia. when i got close enough she said, "no, no, go up there. up there. yes, up there, to the stage!". immediate panic stations in brain (and stomach) and i walked like a robot up onto the stage where the woman was still droning on and on. some man smiled and offered me a seat at the table and i perched awkwardly on the edge of my chair, trying to figure out why in the world i was on stage in front of 200 italian people. finally gathered that the topic of the presentation being given was about the type of applicant who would be granted such a prestegious award, who should bother to apply, and what it would take to be the chosen FIFPSE candidate. by this point i was sweating yet freezing cold with fear. my stomach was about to jump out of my butt, i couldnt see straight, my head was tingling, and my mouth was dry i.e. panic attack mode. looked out into the crowd of italian faces to see that they were all. staring. at. me. tried to smile. wound up making what i am sure was a manic, histerical upward-turned-mouth-type pose. suddenly the woman pointed to me and began saying, "responsabile (responsible), dedito (dedicated), ingegnoso (ingenious), creativo, affermato (successful)...". realized that those were adjectives that i was suppose to posess. the italians stared at me and nodded their heads, like, "oh, like that girl" and took notes. suddenly thought i was going to burst out laughing. or explode. then began to worry that the lady was going to ask me something in italian, something like, "tell the audience about your experience as an amazing person worthy of this grant" or something similarly obscene...but i was afraid she was going to ask me something in italian! and expect me to answer in italian! in front of 200 italians! was terrified. knew that if that woman spoke to me in italian while i was on stage i would vomit. prayed for the horror to end.
finally it did. evil alessia bruno came up to me laughing and patted me on the back and said, "you look sick! but good job! you're the US ambassador!". gave her filthy look but smiled. really should alert people to the fact that they are going to be on display. really. after that i felt like Dorian Greene from 'a confederacy of dunces' when he cries, "oh my god, now i'm going to be on pills all night!"

anyway. got through that. had to make up for lost time wed and thursday by working incredibly long hours in the lab, as i need to finish this project by tuesday, and write a anthropology paper, and attend the second round of italian courses (i got a b on my first level exam, hoorah).

oh, so, another big thing happening this week and adding hours to my days: i have moved, to the country, so to speak. cormons is a little town about 20 min outside of udine where they have lots of viticulture labs and make fantastic wine. the strange thing is that my new dorm is an apartment attached to the building where they hold classes. my front door opens up onto a sidewalk and next door is a classroom. so when i come stumbling out of my apartment in to morning, late for my train and cramming a banana in my mouth, there are students, usually boys, standing outside my front door with bookbags on. weird to have private home literally inside a school, but i like it. it atleast keeps me from going out without makeup on. apparently i have a argentinian roommate, but i have not met her yet. the apartment is actually pretty nice. we have a kitchen, and cable tv, and a bathtub (!!) and a little patio. the neighbors (on the other side from the classroom) are very sweet and chatty. i think cormons might be fun only because there is literally nothing to do, so everyone is forced to hang out together. the town is literally deserted at night, and dark, and you can see so many stars and smell grapes from all directions, and on the mountains you can see old castles lit up. they look like they are floating because there is no light on the mountains. i actually like it quite alot. the commute is lame, though, and takes like, over an hour, with the train and the bus to school, but its ok.
was v. exciting last night. i rode home from school on the bus, screaming into the phone at john about how i had almost had a SIEZURE FIT and fallen out of my chair when i saw that obscene, blasphemous, blatantly unpatriotic quote from john mccain in the news about how if obama's elected he will be "tested" or whatever, insinuating that f-ing terrorists will attack us if he is elected just because they can. i was flaming mad over this, still am, as FEAR MONGERING is disgusting, trying to fucking scare the american people into voting a certain way, planting doubts into the minds of american citizens as to the capabilities of our homeland security, not to mention being so retarded as to assume (and thinking the american people are retarded enough to believe!) that terrorists are even an issue anymore. FEAR MONGERING is dispicable, and i refuse to in anyway respect a man, or a party, who tries to scare people into giving them their vote. americans have quite enough to worry about right now, without some old asshole pounding it into our heads that we are physically at risk, when that is an obvious untruth. ugh. anyway. so i was going on and on about that, the whole while john laughing and trying to shhhsh me, telling me that he totally agrees, its disgusting, but he doesnt really think we have to worry because, lalala, it will not work and obama08 soon, and when i got to my apartment my absentee ballot had arrived! v. excited. filled it out right away and have mailed it off to cobb county so that i will have my say in this wonderful (but positively nerveracking) election.
so...monday and tuesday i work my fanny off. but...wednesday i go to berlin!! to see billy kunzler!! for halloween!!
i love you all