ok, im feeling a little bit better now that i have the "knocked up" song playing on youtube...also, i just listened to mariah careys "all i want for christmas is you", which is possibly my favorite song ever, and that made me feel better too. the only thing is, my headphones arent very good so everyone can hear what i am listening to, and about the 4th time i pressed play on mariah carey the italian boy next to me seriously turned and stared at me with his mouth open, like he deifnitely thought i was crazy.
am having a case of what i have dubbed the Gruesome Purples, an evil, vicious mixture of the mean reds and the blues. i dont know what it is, but the thought of having another weekend strething ahead with no friends and nothing to do, mixed with my overall frustration with myself for not being able to speak stupid italian, plus my fear that i wont be able to stay for next semester and my whole life will dissolve in a burst of sad, sulferic flames like what happens to howlers after the message is conveyed...i dont know. i just feel really bad right now. miley cyrus is helping though...
worried that the slight depression that i have entered is causing me to eat more then my fair share of sweet things...cappucinnos, gelato, kinder chocolates...kinder chocolates are the WORST because they are a) small, b) come with a toy, c) sold at the check out counters at the grocery store, so when you are standing there with an armload of groceries and considering how sad it is that you are going to go home and cook dinner for yourself, and eat by yourself, in the aparmtent where you live by yourself, it is just too easy and d) have sentimental value now so they are DOUBLE dangerous when considering loneliness. anyway. just had two. and will not go back to grocery store anytime soon as am stocked up so not a problem.
went into school to finish up the first part of my grape assignment (thank heaven!). got it all typed up and formatted and analyzed. simone came into the office, looking terribly adorable with his collared shirt and sweater and 5 o'clock shadow, read over my papers, and gave his customary "good work, parker, good work". as a reward (since i am his slave) he admitted that professor zerbi came in to see him earlier today, asking if he was finished with me, and if i would be able to move onto another department (prosciutteria). simone was nice enough to tell him yes. so after next week, when i am done processing grape skins to (hopefully, good christ) find a correlation between the skin color and the sugars, i will be set free.
my roomate, btw, the sweet girl from argentina, has moved out, leaving me the whole place to myself, which is kind of nice. i ripped up my italian vogues and decorated the walls in various collages, so it looks fun and homey now. last night after i was done with dinner, i went outside to investigate the howling that was going on outside my door. the other argentinian kids, and the few italians who are from the south and therefore considered second class citizens, were all outside in the lawn drinking wine and celebrating the end of the rain. "vai, stiamo facendo una festa!" one of them cried. we all sat out in the wet grass and took turns butchering the italian, english, and spanish languages in our quest to communicate with one another. eventually one of the sweet argentinian boys brought out his guitar, and we sang rolling stones, nirvanna, led zeppelin, and aerosmith songs. i was MORTIFIED to relaize that i dont remember the words to the most obvious of songs, and i blame whitney for ruining "stairway to heaven" for me forever...anyway, it was a blast and a really fun night and i couldnt believe that i was actually singing outloud to these people, which i would never usually do. was fun, and maybe i need to remember these fun times with my fellow cormons-outcast friends before i walk around all day in a fog of loneliness.
anyway, am feeling better now. not sure what i will do this weekend, maybe explore cormons, or take the train out to the ocean at trieste...
oh, got to go catch my train...
ich liebe dich!!