haven't really told my readers why i'm staying? i thought that was a bit obvious (insert bashful giggle). it sort of came down to this...as yall know, when august came around and i went off to piemonte i was in shambles. yes, i wanted to go make cheese (check!) and have adventures with angela (check!) and make new friends (check!) and see another part of italy (check!). but i also wanted to stay here, with him, in this place (with these people and the wines and language) that i have come to love and consider another home. when piemonte was over i came back to friuli to regroup (and take a hot bath. did i tell you those crazy people at the farm in piemonte turned the hot water off, because they said that americans use too much water? so we had ice cold showers for a month. it was bullshit), and FL and i had a little chat. he said that august was sort of a "lets see" period for him, too, and that the outcome, after about a week, was that he was much better off with me, that everything would just be better if i were here. i told him i've been saying that the whole time, silly. so we figured this: we'll give it a try. make a go of it. find a place to live and make "us" official. officially become "morosi". i'll find a job and keep studying the wines and the food and the language. this was our thinking but, of course, i'm manic and all over the place, so i wasnt completely sure that i shouldnt be "responsible" and come back to athens and finish school in january like a good girl. obviously that would be the "responsible"\wise\safe bet, and when i'm done with UGA and my degree, well then i can come back to italy if i feel like it. so i was kind of 50\50 about it, swaying back and forth, thinking way too much, imagining all sorts of dire consequences and bloody deaths for not going back to school, like normal. but then angela was here and sort of put it all in perspective (from a wiser, older, outsiders point of view): this place is beautiful, breathtaking at times. it is a goldmine of information, the food, the wines, the language, the culture, and i can learn so much just by going to the cafe down the street, talking with the postman, taking a tour of a vineyard any day of the week, traveling to the tiny villages, finding an apprenticeship at a restaurant, learning the history of this place, which is astoundingly complex. in this way, regardless of "school credit", i will be learning and forwarding whatever career it is that i will want in a much more hands-on, interesting, and real way than anything i could do in athens right now. i feel comfortable and happy in this town, with these wonderful people who are all incredibly supportive and happy to have me. and, of course, theres the boy. angela put him in perspective, too, sort of in the way my mother and hitch and claudia did. its almost unreal how good he is, just good and kind and responsible and supportive and happy. angela adores him, told me multiple times a day. the thing is, we're really good, FL and i. really good and happy together, and i just dont know that i could walk away from that right now. i dont know what will happen down the line, i certainly am not planning on marrying him or anything, its way too soonf or such thoughts and im so young and have so much to do and i dont know who ill be down the road. right now its all very fresh and young and i want to keep it that way and put no pressure on anything. doors always opened. but, lord, he is worth sticking with. when i was at marions one night, she started asking me, on behalf of mimi, and in a very "critical", serious, debbie downer, lets-see-if-she-has-any-good-answers-for-the-tough-questions kind of way, what in the world it was that i was thinking, what in the world it was i thought i was doing. we discussed my options long and hard, angela a total "italy" advocate, marion a total "responsibility" advocate. and when all the cards were down, and i had said my peace, wise marion made her call: go for it. why the hell not. because, seriously, what harm could it do to just be happy and in love and relax and learn for a while? there's no telling where it will lead me. so anyway, theres that.
must find job, though. asap.
went to the Enoteca di Cormons today. the Enoteca is where all of the local vineyards serve and advertise their wines, and its full of pamphlets and maps and classes on wine for tourists (mainly from austria). told the nice lady that i wanted a job in a vineyard and where she tought i should start. she was so nice and told me to come in tomorrow and we'd figure something out. theres so many opportunities here, i just have to go get them, take them, put my head down and make things happen. am feeling powerful and motivated and on the right track.
but maybe because it's...DATE NIGHT! always puts me in a good mood. we're going to that fabulous restaurant i blogged about a while back, the one that serves the most gigantic portions of delicious food. so excited.

feeling very strange these days. think my hormones or something might be out of whack. am full of dread over completely ridiculous things and paranoid for no reason. keep thinking that if i had a job i would feel better. there's this beautiful place, La Subida, an agrotourismo hotel, with two restaurants and horses and stuff. im going to go over there and ask for something. i would love to work there, i'd learn so much, and its beautiful. in the meantime, today i made flyers for babysitting and english tutoring. am going to the cities around cormons to post them. the man at the copy\print shop was so nice! he asked if he could keep one of the flyers for his window, and said that english conversation, and learning other languages, was so important, and that he wished me so much luck. i realised after i had copied 20 of the babysitting signs that i had misspelled the word "ragazza" (girl). the man helped me white out all of the mistakes and fix it. felt stupid, but it made me smile to have his help. then it was weird. went home and just like, lost it, over the fact that i misspelled that word. like, i am so stupid and cant even spell girl and what the hell kind of future do i have here if i cant even make a stupid flyer for babysitting right and what am i doing with my life, etc. was conscious the whole time that this made no sense, but i just felt weak and so sad. decided to take a break and go on a hike and regroup. the exercise helped, and the fall weather, and i feel better now. ill blog tomorrow, asap, so much fun stuff to write about!

so, this is the deal. must be proactive with the situation and not slip into a pile of gooey laziness. is of course the italian "life lesson" to let your days pass idly, breezy, lunchtime glasses of wine, afternoon espressos for a little perk, maybe a jog or a trip to the post office, a few hours of "hard" work or study and then, whew! dinner. trying days like that deserve a good, long, relaxing dinner, right? while i am all for this lifestyle, an advocate for sure, theres still the american in me, which is a Nagging Guilt that bubbles in the back of my head, saying, "lazy bones, lazy bones, you are not CONTRIBUTING! you are not PRODUCING! you are not being a CAPITALIST! you do not deserve that carpaccio that melts in your mouth like butter because all you did today was easy, breasy vacation-type things". this annoying bit of americana that i cannot let go of has woken me up in cold sweats these past several morning, 5am, on the dot. find myself on the bathroom floor, pouring over the Job Finder pages of yesterdays paper, make mental notes on Plans of Action for the day, To-Do lists scrawled on scrap pieces of toilet paper, maybe write a page or two for my final essays (almost done!), review flashcards and mumble quasi-intelligible italian grammatical incantations. this last until maybe 7am, when all of the sudden im totally tired again. fall back into bed and end up sleeping till 10, which makes me wake up even more guilty than before. its lame. so starting tomorrow there will be a new regime.
will keep everyone posted.

am alive and well and back in friuli. have been for a while now, but as cormons is technologically behind the rest of the civilized world by about 15 years i havent had any internet with which to let my status of "alive" be known. but i guess everyone figured that no news was good news.
germany was wonderful, as always. lots of Gilmore Girls were watched, lots of late-night chats and good food. the weather was cool and a little rainy and i loved it. marion spoiled me rotten, again. angela was in heaven. the last night there we went out and ate a wonderful turkish meal, lamb with sweet paprika and mint, eggplant and turkish wine. one weird thing that i did there was cut my hair, officially, very short. at first, it looked totally weird. was a little freaked out. is one thing to always wear my hair up in pins away from face and therefore have face framed the same way as now. except in those instances theres the buffer of letting the pins down and actually having something there. now its just like, this void where no hair is. theres nothing to do on a bad hair day, no other options. will have to invest in a hat. anyway, was trying for a few days to come to terms with it. it wasnt until i got to FLs house, where his mom who use to be a hairdresser has a stash of hair products, that i began to experiment and, yes, trim a bit, and use some mousse, and now, honestly, my hair is totally adorable. i am adorable. FL cant keep his hands off the back of my neck, and when i wake up in the morning and look at myself in the bathroom mirror i laugh because i look so ridiculous, but in a good way. anyway, will grow out soon.
am running around like a maniac this week trying to get papers finished, documents certified, things at UGA squared away which, long distance, is not so easy, and a permit of stay renewed. chaos. have angela here now to tag along so i have some company. she, by the way, is hitting the road for spain on thursday. after piemonte she decided that maybe the farming scene wasnt so much her thing. none of the farms in calabria were responding to our emails anyway, and we heard all these horror stories about WWOOFers in sicily. i have made an Important Life Decision and have decided to find a job in Cormons\Friuli, which means that i cant be scampering off to southern italy for weeks at a time. so, while i stay in my darling little town with my darling pair of dimples and hopefully find a job nannying or at a vineyard or something (am posting up flyers and everything, and the whole town is backing me, ears all perked for opportunities), shes gonna go dancing in barcelona. tutto a posto!
so, thats all for now. wish me luck on the job hunt!
e

i made a roasted chicken!

or roasted parts of a chicken, at least, and it was so good. feel whole again. marion picked angela and i up at the airport yesterday, same as always: blond and beautiful, except now even skinnier than ever before and sort of shiny in a radiant, healthy, i-excercise-for-fun way. angela and i looked exactly how people look when they leave italy- a little ragged, a little fleshy, a little exhausted, healthy and happy and radiant in another sort of way (the sort of way that comes from copious amounts of ravioli, wine, italian kisses, gelato, moon light walks through ancient streets, etc). you know what im talking about. had been looking forward to this arrival for weeks now, when everything would be clean and nice and safe, and as we sat on marions gorgeous, quaint back deck, the weather unseasonably warm and the grass lush, eating mini sandwiches on bread made out of nuts and oats and fresh tomatos, angela and i looked at each other, smiled, and sighed. oh, germany! angela cant get over how nice they are, how wonderful and kind. all i can say is, i know, dude, i told you. we ate a dinner of roasted chicken with shallots and lemon, huge fresh mushrooms, roasted radicchio polenta, steamed colliflower, and a salad with fresh peppers, tomatos, and a basilic vinaigrette. white wine and, of course, a little talk of politics later, angela and i went to bed and slept like we had reentered the womb on a full stomach.
is now lunch time, and marion, kalla, and annika are out at various works. the weather is spectacular, so im gonna take angie to the park down the road, with the forests. have many papers to write and research to do, and i couldnt begin to think of a more tranquil spot for such things.
allorah, recap...
fled piemonte (fled, my loves) early on a friday morning. kissed my belle pastorelle good bye, pecked little princess nutella and prince pistolino on their sweet heads (considered sticking pistolino in my suitcase and busting him out too in manner of clarice from Silence of the Lambs, but he was a bit too big), and took the first train out. destination: friuli. 10 hours later (ceva-savona-genoa-milano-venezia-udine-cormons, good grief!) i disembarked in cormons. the castle was there, all lit up, like a beacon of, well, home, and he was there, too, FL, just where i had left him a month before. all of the muscles in my body seemed to relax at once, and as i began to drop, turning instantaniously into merely vapor, merely relief, nothing more than thankfulness, his big arms came and caught me, and i heard him let out a sigh, too. we went straight home, where within the first hour i had a hot bath, a glass of friuli white, just about more loving and affection than one little girl can handle, and a homemade dinner. he made such a beautiful meal that night, i will recount: fresh steaks, must have been prime rib, seared to perfection, sliced thin and layed over a salad of fresh, chunky vegeatbles and arugula, shaved local cows milk cheese (called, simply, latteria), and a dressing of balsamic vinegar, roasted peaches, and sea salt. that was the first hour, and the whole weekend was a run for its money.
saturday we experimented with whiskey, by cooking osso bucco and potato flambe, which turned out delicious, of course. it was during this meal that FLs dad came down to the back patio to get some sort of tool, and asked, in friulano, which i cannot understand, if i had brought the cheese that was in the refrigerator from piemonte. FL responded, apparently, that not only had i brougt the cheese, i had made the cheese, to which FLs dad responded, apparently (because i cannot understand friulano) that the cheese was absolutely wonderful. they both beamed at me and i just smiled back and nodded, the best way to feign comprehension. had to have it all repeated to me in italian afterwards, at which point i remembered that i had, infact, brought back some of my very own cheese. tried a bite, and though it tasted like the smell of the barn as far as im concerned (that smell may never, ever leave me), i will say, that i have made some damned good cheese. brava, brava, brava! we were just settling in to watch Blue Brothers, which i am ashamed to say i had never seen before, when Condor called, and insisted that if we wished to live another day, we were to report directly to Gianni´s, the little late-night bar down the street. FL responded, as an excuse in an effort to salvage our comfortable, couch-beached night, that we were too sleepy and a bit drunk. condors response: "...um, this is cormons, saturday. you find me one person who isnt drunk and we´ll excommunicate them". fine. we dragged ourselves outside, where the air, cool like autumn revived us and, hand in hand, went to give big hugs to those boys who i had missed so badly. condor told me my hair looked weird, but that he was glad to have me back anyway, because the collective heartbreak over my loss was causing them all to break out. cormons needs me like a 17 year old needs noxema, he said.
bah, ok, have alot more to write, but am being asked confusing questions about my plans for october, which as of now i do not have. must figure things out. will write more in a bit.
love, e

oh my GOD, yall! ok, i have so much to say, obviously, but right now, this is the movie we made! its unvelievable, really.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p3PDFF65ts
enjoy!