am making adorable picture flashcards of halloween things for the little girl i tutor in english this afternoon. so far i've drawn a black cat, a witch with a mole on her nose, a vampire with a bad haircut, a monster that can only be called a monster because it literally looks like nothing that ever existed and therein, by default, i bet you anything the girl will say, "um...a monster?" when i hold up the card, a jack-o-lantern, a ghost, and the cutest sketch of babies trick-or-treating in costume with a little bubble above their heads that reads their collective shout of "trick or treat!" had no diea i was such an amazing artist, to be honest. i'm really making a killing doing this tutoring thing, and its about the easiest job ever. just talk about things and have the kids draw pictures of vocabulary words. is sort of sad that i've met all these wonderful families and found such a nice nitch of employment just as i'm about to leave...
that's another thing i havent detailed, gentle readers. the FL love affair and my time here in cormons has come to a self-imposed close. after weeks of thought and careful consideration (i.e. madness and psychological collapse) i realised, or maybe admitted (or maybe my brain reached a crescendo and exploded and in that way i found some clarity), that though there is a wonderful, heady love in my life, in a place that i adore and cherish, it is not for me, and not conducive to what i need to do, and where i want to go. it hurts, but its right. so next month i will come home, i will manically decorate the house with christmas decorations and buy a too-big-for-the-livingroom tree and try to immerse myself in yuletide cheer and family and long-lost friends, and probobly find myself every once in a while slumped onto the steering wheel of the car parked in the driveway, blasting mariah carey "all i want for christmas is you" and sobbing drunkenly over that boy i left. but it will all be ok.
in the meantime! have made a friend, gabi, a girl from argentina whom i have known the entire time ive lived here, but with whom i had never become friends. she lived at my dorm and we always said hi to each other, but, i dont know why exactly, we just never talked. but one day i was here and saw her walking down the street, obviously past the point of classes being in session, and therefore i knew she must have found a place to live, alone, or with someone. turns out she met a boy at porchis, too, some cute young'un' named carlo. when school ended in august she was pretty much in love, and they decided to co-habitate while she found some work. v. familiar. so one day i was sitting at my favorite cafe enjoying a glass of ribolla gialla, when it occured to me, like a bolt of lightening, that gabi is probobly in the exact same boat that i am: lost, confused, a little lonely, trying to weigh the pros and cons of making a life here when all signs pointed to maybe-not-quite-right. i decided that day to become friends with her, once and for all. three nights later i was at porchis for a Mortadella Party (the best kind of party ever!), and i looked over and saw the pretty gabi sitting outside, which was odd because she never comes to porchis. figured it was a gift. walked right up to her, and before i could get a word out she said, "oh, eleanor! i have been looking for you! we shold be friends, i figure we're both in need of someone here to chat with". was wonderful. we talked and talked, and are both going through the exact same thing, exact same thoughts and fears and wishes. the only regret we both have of our time here is that we didnt become friends sooner. but theres a reason for timing, and timing is everything, is it not? anyway, shes a total blast, and tonight we're going chestnut harvesting on the mountain, and then carving pumpkins!
oh, tutoring session in 10 minutes, got to run!
e